Feeling perfectly bloody

Many thanks for the solicitous requests after my health, following a reasonably prolonged absence from this blog. Fact of the matter is, I've been feeling perfectly bloody, and have taken to my bed, where you find me now, counterpane pulled up to my chins, tapping away at a new laptop computer which was bought for me by subscription of some very kind friends. Dear Mark Haddon was behind it, if you ask me. He is such a lovely man, and has been staying with me this week to bring a little succour to the invalides. I told him about a curious incident with a dog that happened once to me, though it was not in the nightime, but rather in broad daylight on Wandsworth Common. My mother, too, was prone to curious incidents.She looked very like dear old Queen Alexandra, as mothers did in those days. I got that from her, of course.
But, pleased to say, I'm beginning to feel a little perkier. The laptop has been a Godsend, quite frankly. It has bought the sights and sounds of the interweb straight into my lap. Then again, my bookmaker has been found dead in his mistresses flat in Leominster. My brother Sir Leslie Spume has decided to hold a 'rock' festival in the grounds here at Phuckwhitt Hall, later this month, and I am to help. I have found a little Philipino piece in Telford who does outcalls. I have been able to keep some liquids down, and today even managed to nibble a little Stilton. So, all in all, I feel able to face the day once more. To celebrate Leslie is taking me to lunch at The Stagg in Titley this Sunday.